Top 10 Ways to tell that you are getting old (as a single)

10) The room gets quiet, eyebrows raise, and blank faces emerge after you use slang
9) College kids and graduates are old enough to be your children
8) Your vocabulary processes at a slower rate
7) it may take you 2 tries to get out of the car
6) extreme sports aren't as appealing anymore
5) food becomes your enemy
4)all of your worldly possessions no longer fit in your vehicle, but your net worth is still under $10k
3) eating out is a wild night
2) you begin telling a story with,"When (or if) I was your age..."
1) You want the chin pump