Top 10 Things Toyota recall owners can say if pulled over

 (thought of while driving home in my Toyota recalled vehicle)
10) I think this may have that problem they're talking about on the news
9) I haven't gone to Toyota for the recall yet
8) This is one of those recall cars
7) This is a Toyota
6) Hmmm...I had it on cruise control to the speed limit?!
5) Can you check to see if this is one of those recall models?
4) Somethings wrong with my car, officer!
3) The car just took off by itself!
2) The brake isn't working and the gas pedal is stuck
1) Don't stop, but shout out the window,"Sorry officer! I'm experiencing rapid acceleration and I can't stop!"

Top 10 Perks of being married

10) Your back can be fully moisturized
9) Another income and general monetary perks
8) You can travel with a buddy
7) you don't have to face the family alone
6) you have someone to drive your get-a-way vehicle
5) you can easily redirect unwanted attention - "I'm married"
4) you can buy those nifty kits designed for 2
3) the entertainment book pays off faster
2) you don't have to ride alone or with a stranger at amusement parks
1) :) you can answer the call of the wild!

Top 10 Ways to tell that you are getting old (as a single)

10) The room gets quiet, eyebrows raise, and blank faces emerge after you use slang
9) College kids and graduates are old enough to be your children
8) Your vocabulary processes at a slower rate
7) it may take you 2 tries to get out of the car
6) extreme sports aren't as appealing anymore
5) food becomes your enemy
4)all of your worldly possessions no longer fit in your vehicle, but your net worth is still under $10k
3) eating out is a wild night
2) you begin telling a story with,"When (or if) I was your age..."
1) You want the chin pump

Top 10 Ways to get money

10) Ask a stranger to bum you some small coinage - you know the ranks: penny, nickel, dime, quarter - move into the bills if you dare.
9) Go hunting in hiding spots - seldom used accounts / pants / pockets / sofas / sewers
8) Look down when you walk - it might look like your sad, but who cares! you could be 1 cent richer!!! (i know, that was idiotic)
7) Push the coin return buttons on ALL machines and listen for the lovely jingle
6) Respond to a chain letter telling you to send $1 to someone. Then put your name at the top of the list for 10+ of your friends to send $1 to - remember, don't break the chain!
5) Grab someone's gold tooth
4) Return random items at walmart
3) Sell junk on craigslist
2) Look under the boardwalk
1) Jump in the local water fountains

Top 10 Things you might see people doing while driving alone

10) texting/talking on the phone
9) smoking
8) reading
7) eating/drinking
6) dressing/undressing
5) putting on make-up/deodorant/shaving
4) digging for gold (or plucking)
3) putting on make-up/deodorant
2) pulling the imaginary horn for truckers/waving
1) singing verbosely - my favorite is the guy from click. Thanks to youtube.com for the embedded clip

Top 10 Things women say/think in a public restroom

10) I think this is ladies...
9) Is there a line? Are you in line?
8) Where's the bag hook!!
7) Is someone in there? The door is closed but i don't see feet!
6) Can you guard the door? there's no lock!
5) If I flush fast enough, maybe it won't smell
4) Use paper towels, there's no paper in there - or the famous,"Can you spare a square?"
3) It's dead quiet, but here it comes!!!
2) What are you looking at? Don't look at me through the cracks!!!
1) It won't flush!!!